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View Full Version : An alternative to buying Kel's book!



Duke of Darkness
02-06-2007, 02:19 PM
When people who want to start their first haunted attraction begin asking questions on these forums, they are generally told -- by various people -- to buy Kel's book. So You Want to be a Haunt Entrepreneur is a great book, but it is not for everyone. It requires things that some people just don't want to deal with like time, effort, and capital. Can it really be that hard to get ahead in the haunt industry?

Now, for the first time ever, all the secret shortcuts to getting rich in the haunted attraction industry are revealed! Learn:

*** How to build a first class haunt on a $500 budget

*** How to get free building space!

*** How to attract 50,000 paying customers. WITHOUT ADVERTISING.

All the secrets are there and laid step-by-step with simple, easy to follow diagrams. Take the work out of building a haunted attraction. This book puts the fun back into fundamentals.

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f247/ptbeast/hauntedattractionsfornewbies.jpg

CALL NOW!!!

OPERATERS ARE STANDING BY.

Jim Warfield
02-06-2007, 03:43 PM
I wood by this with my credit card copy it and send it back asking the card company to refund me. I like the centerfolds, mostly...
Or steal it from a library?
Doesn't this book recommend these methods? I think they should.

Mr. Haunt
02-06-2007, 04:35 PM
Who do we get our hands on this book?

Nightgore
02-06-2007, 04:49 PM
^ This book... or Kelly's book? Contact Kelly Allen (Raycliff Manor). -Tyler

SomeThingInTheIce
02-06-2007, 04:57 PM
:lol: Sweet, I needed a smile on my face.

Mr. Haunt
02-06-2007, 05:10 PM
Dave is this a joke? How do we get that book?

MMManiac
02-06-2007, 06:47 PM
BEFORE I GO TO BUY A BOOK WHICH NO ONE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT GIVE US MORE INFO LIKE IS IT SOFT COVER OR HARD, HOW MANY PAGES, WHY WOULD I WANT OR NEED THIS BOOK... THE REASON KEL SELLS SO MANY OF HIS IS THAT IT'S BEEN PROVEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO HELP NEW HAUNTERS.

NEED MORE INFO PLEASE!

SEAN

PumpkinHead
02-06-2007, 06:55 PM
As Dr. Evil would say,

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.........

SSP
02-06-2007, 07:39 PM
500 budget? HOTDAMN

I believe the answer to this mystery is "in ur dreams" lol

Will go right next to my fishing for dummies book. Maybe with this one I'll actually get better at something. hahaha

wipp
02-06-2007, 08:26 PM
lmfao@be rich by october

TheNightMare
02-06-2007, 11:02 PM
Toooo funny....Shouldnt it read Haunted Attractions for Dummies? lol

Jim Warfield
02-07-2007, 03:36 AM
To make creating a screamingly successful haunt, this book should have it's cover as a box cover, the box needs a crank sticking out from it, and a money slot on top, cram in the money, probably all the money you will ever have, and then vigorously yank your crank!
That's all there is to it Boys and Girls!
The successful all season, all region, multi-state hormone-raging suck-sess! Just keep the crank cranking while stuffing raw money into the slot on top, when the box/book is full and no more room in it for money, then you know it's time to extracate the money and sell the dump!

Hell American Freak
02-07-2007, 07:44 AM
Am I the only one that noticed the title of the book... "H A N U T E D Attractions..."

Raycliff Manor
02-07-2007, 07:50 AM
LMAO DoD! :lol:

Kel

SpFXChic
02-07-2007, 08:46 AM
LOL. That's hillarious!

Jim Warfield
02-07-2007, 08:51 AM
eye gittn immune to misspelz sinse sew mani ar
mister tuckseedoe sais az long az thei spel "KAT" ok , he B ok. wit that
stuf thare

Greg Chrise
02-08-2007, 03:49 PM
*** How to build a first class haunt on a $500 budget

*** How to get free building space!

*** How to attract 50,000 paying customers. WITHOUT ADVERTISING.

Number one done.

Number 2 pulled that off.

Number three, I will by my calculations see 50,000 customers over the course of 52 years which will be on my 100th birthday.

This groovy book should be advertised in AARP to suppliment Social Security! The haunted House of the future will be Haunted RVs roaming parks all over the country. Secretly advertised word of mouth and instant message contact Raves for old people.

Greg Chrise
02-08-2007, 03:53 PM
When ever Grandma's cell phone goes off with that Addams Familly ringtone she looks at a text message then, takes off a runnin and we don't see her for days.

Jim Warfield
02-08-2007, 07:45 PM
If Grandma's cell phone rings with the Manson Family ringtones , we never see her again!
(She's probably just in an area that is a tower short, like Mount Carroll, illinois is)

Greg Chrise
02-08-2007, 07:51 PM
What song? Vampirella is a Grandma and keeps her cell phone in her bra of all places so if a call comes in a light show and music comes from her clevage.

So is it Marilyn Manson's remake of "Sweet Dreams are made of These"?

mindtumor
02-10-2007, 08:31 AM
Nice!

MMManiac
02-10-2007, 11:48 AM
I got my book today! Ill post a review once read the book

Darkblood
02-10-2007, 01:07 PM
Ordering the book as we speak...I'll add it to Kel's book on the desk and keep building the resources! ;)

I'll let ya know what I think also! :)

Kirk :twisted:

doom
02-10-2007, 01:30 PM
i wish i had a copy of that last year

Jim Warfield
02-10-2007, 06:50 PM
Someone waiting to read a book before they review it!!?
What an old-fashioned concept! I love it, it makes So Much Sense!
Not everyone follows logical progressions, though, like movie critics and others.