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View Full Version : Warning! You can never anticipate.



Jim Warfield
09-21-2008, 09:47 AM
What that sly, strange, misunderstood creature called a human being will do.
Last night we were real busy and I had to stop the tour, go backwards through the house and close my front door because a strange couple decided they wanted to leave..out the front door.
My front door is a drawbrige type door, very heavy manually operated by me.
For some lunatic reason (drunky?) one of them thought this was the way to go?
"We followed the exit signs."
There are no exit signs taking you back into my first room because the second room is an outside room and the exit sign is above that door that takes you out of the house directly and quickly if they would have followed it instead of their imaginary exit sign.
I ran up the block and asked them if they would do me a "favor?"
"Turn your pockets inside -out."
As goofy as they were behaving I figured they also could very well have stolen something.
"We don't steal." The girl said in a tone as if to tell me I would be so silly to ever imagine such a thing, of course all theives say this , some of them even when you catch them red-handed .
In October is when the stupid, nasty customers show up here. I feel sorry for all of you not open the rest of the year when good, nice people are my customers almost without a fault.
Maybe you guessed near the front door they exited from is also where we sell the tickets.
If I would have acted like some drunk customers I would have ran up the block to them and punched the girl, since she is a girl and alot smaller than myself, then told her boyfriend , who is bigger than me, "I'm sorry, I'm drunk!"
My wife told me that the girl did not want to come in the house, then during the tour she was saying how stupid and worthless the tour was , which is funny since right next to her were a bunch of youg guys (early 20's) who were being Very loudly appreciative of everything they were experienceing!
She was scared or drunk with a 1/2 second attention span and she didn't want to be here, and naturally they cut out before the guaranteed scariest part of the tour which has nothing whatsoever to do with my underware drawer!

damon carson
09-22-2008, 12:39 PM
LOL! Jim your gonna have to have a midnight drunken bar tour! Or an after party when the bars close special tour that takes the drunks from your front door down into the creek or whatever seperates you from the cemetary. It could be like a live ride on the titantic or something?!!! HA! HA! Ha! Or just set up a beer garden in your backyard. And serve them coffee or something till they can sober up enough to get the hell out of your neighbor hood.
Damon

damon carson
09-22-2008, 12:49 PM
LOL! Jim your gonna have to have a midnight drunken bar tour! Or an after party when the bars close special tour that takes the drunks from your front door down into the creek or whatever seperates you from the cemetary. It could be like a live ride on the titantic or something?!!! HA! HA! Ha! Or just set up a beer garden in your backyard. And serve them coffee or something till they can sober up enough to get the hell out of your neighbor hood.
Damon

GingerSnaps
09-22-2008, 02:13 PM
Jim, I think if you just took all of your posts and put them together into a book, you could have your retirement income! They are quite entertaining!

Jim Warfield
09-23-2008, 07:20 AM
If I collected all of the irony, I'd have to build a building to keep the rain off of it or else it would become a ball of rust!

monsterwax
09-29-2008, 09:32 PM
Man, a draw bridge exit door. Our fire department would NEVER allow such a thing. Consider yourself lucky!

Greg Chrise
09-29-2008, 11:14 PM
It isn't an exit door, it is the show entrance. There are many many exits.

damon carson
09-30-2008, 04:21 PM
Jim maybe try this, Im sure you could devise one. Make a trap door with a slide that puts the drunks safely out of your house and off your property. That would be great! One minute drunk and stumbling, talking b.s. next outside and away from the rest of the group trying to enjoy the tour. I would love to see that! HA! HA!
Damon

Zombie Manor
09-30-2008, 11:09 PM
I'd buy one of those.

Jim Warfield
10-01-2008, 12:51 AM
After a drink of booze or three most drunks themselves have little reguard for their own safety.
It has always made me pizzed off the way some people in some situations shift their responsibilty off on others by just sucking some dummy-juice.
They make it look so quick and easy to do too.....