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View Full Version : Frozen Tundra Tour...they were wrong!!!



Rich Hanf
01-13-2007, 09:20 PM
They said it was impossible...they said it could never happen...they said nobody would pay $177 to fill up a bus to do the Frozen Tundra Tour. It didn't matter that "Ready Eddie Gannon" was the bus Captain, it didn't matter that you were gonna see some of the biggest baddest Haunted Houses in the Wisconson area...it didn't matter that there was already over $10,000 worth of kick ass haunted props and merchandise there for you to grab at auction. They didn't think it mattered...those other guys didn't think you cared about great food, great friends, great stories about life as a haunter as told by some of the best haunters in the whole
US of A. Well guess what? THEY WERE WRONG!!!!!

Those Frozen Tundra Tundra tix went faster than a free Morris carry bag at a Transworld Hallowewen show!!!

Then those Bad Boyz had an idea...they said if we can sell out one bus...what can we do to sell out a second. They said we need a speaker, a haunter, an entertainer...there is only one man that can help us sell out this second bus. NO...not him...he doesn't even do a haunt at Halloween...I mean a real haunter...someone just like you!!! Someone that like you has been in the trenches...someone who knows the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat...someone who can stand tall and do it all while rollin into Wisconson with his trunk of funk. YOU guessed it...they asked ME Me Me!!! That's right...I don't know what they were thinking but I'm going to be talkin dirty and playin the top thirty as I take control of bus # 2 on Thursday Feb 22. That's right...armed with nothing more than a bottle of Korbel extra dry and a container of OJ (no pulp) that is provided for in my contract I'm gettin on that bus and headin up to see the Bad Boyz at Terror on the Fox, The Burial Chamber, and Blood City. This promises to be so good I'm scared already!!!

I don't know how they can do it...it seems to big...too bad...too scary...
For them to attempt something this unbelievable is CRAZY...for you to miss it would be INSANE!!! This is the grand daddy of all tours...this is the one you're gonna go back and tell your staff about and say na na na na na I went and you didn't!!! This one is for all the marbles.

Those Bad Boyz called me up and they said Rich Hanf...we know one thing
In order to BE THE Best we're gonna have to BEAT THE BEST and we're asking you to get on board and help make that happen!!! We're willing to put it all on the line...like you Rich Hanf we're gonna be standin Tall and doin it all!!!

So there it is. I know what they are gonna do. They have confided in me but Anne Marie Gavinski made me swear not to say a word...and she is pretty tough!!! I wouldn't be tellin you to go if I didn't know DOUBLE TOP SECRET INFORMATION!!! But I do and sayin hang with us that night or hang youself the following night!!!

That's right...I'm talkin to you, you, and especially you!!! Get your ticket...get one for yourself, for your girlfriend, your wife...your girlfriend AND you wife. Remember...the only thing more terrifying than the first half of this tour is the Second half!!! insert evil laugh here
Rich Hanf

xxxdirk
01-14-2007, 12:31 AM
God Rich, I have sen your DVDs too many times. I swear I could hear your voice as I read that!

lurker
01-14-2007, 03:07 AM
The art of carnival barking will never be dead...

bhays
01-14-2007, 03:27 AM
God Rich, I have sen your DVDs too many times. I swear I could hear your voice as I read that!

ditto...

only a few more days to put your face in the place :wink:

bodybagging
01-14-2007, 06:01 AM
To Funny Bhays, I was thinking the same thing!

Ken Spriggs
01-14-2007, 10:18 AM
Rich, I been meaning to call you.

I think you need to change production companies for your DVDs.

The last one I got.....looked like yours but it was a racing video!!!

Jim Warfield
01-14-2007, 11:18 AM
Ken, If you watched the entire racing video Rich was probably in it, look for someone riding on the hood of the race car.....it was probably a Demolition Derby......Figure eight. Fire hoops...Rabid German shepards roaming the infield.....nitro methane fueled....by torchlight.....in a thunder storm.....
I know "Been There, Done That!"

Need a talent agent to make creative suggestions ?
I have a price.