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Thread: An alternative to buying Kel's book!

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  1. Default  
    #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    493
    Toooo funny....Shouldnt it read Haunted Attractions for Dummies? lol
     

  2. Default  
    #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Ravens Grin Inn, 411 carroll st.mount carroll ill.
    Posts
    12,783
    To make creating a screamingly successful haunt, this book should have it's cover as a box cover, the box needs a crank sticking out from it, and a money slot on top, cram in the money, probably all the money you will ever have, and then vigorously yank your crank!
    That's all there is to it Boys and Girls!
    The successful all season, all region, multi-state hormone-raging suck-sess! Just keep the crank cranking while stuffing raw money into the slot on top, when the box/book is full and no more room in it for money, then you know it's time to extracate the money and sell the dump!
     

  3. Default  
    #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Omaha, Nebraska
    Posts
    344
    Am I the only one that noticed the title of the book... "H A N U T E D Attractions..."
    "The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear."
    -H.P. Lovecraft
     

  4. Default  
    #14
    Raycliff Manor Guest
    LMAO DoD! :lol:

    Kel
     

  5. Default  
    #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Colorado Springs, CO
    Posts
    1,278
     

  6. Default  
    #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Ravens Grin Inn, 411 carroll st.mount carroll ill.
    Posts
    12,783
    eye gittn immune to misspelz sinse sew mani ar
    mister tuckseedoe sais az long az thei spel "KAT" ok , he B ok. wit that
    stuf thare
     

  7. Default  
    #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Tyler, Texas, United States
    Posts
    2,614
    *** How to build a first class haunt on a $500 budget

    *** How to get free building space!

    *** How to attract 50,000 paying customers. WITHOUT ADVERTISING.

    Number one done.

    Number 2 pulled that off.

    Number three, I will by my calculations see 50,000 customers over the course of 52 years which will be on my 100th birthday.

    This groovy book should be advertised in AARP to suppliment Social Security! The haunted House of the future will be Haunted RVs roaming parks all over the country. Secretly advertised word of mouth and instant message contact Raves for old people.


    Another fabulous post from the U.S.Department of Wild Imaginings, now in spectaclar stereo, sponsored by the Adhesives and Sealants Council, suggesting ways to stick things together since the 1800s. Not fabulous in a gay way. Your results may vary. Illinois residents add 8% sales tax. These posts have been made by professional post makers, do not try this type of posting on your own without extensive training, lovely assistants and a trusty clown horn.
     

  8. Default  
    #18
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Tyler, Texas, United States
    Posts
    2,614
    When ever Grandma's cell phone goes off with that Addams Familly ringtone she looks at a text message then, takes off a runnin and we don't see her for days.


    Another fabulous post from the U.S.Department of Wild Imaginings, now in spectaclar stereo, sponsored by the Adhesives and Sealants Council, suggesting ways to stick things together since the 1800s. Not fabulous in a gay way. Your results may vary. Illinois residents add 8% sales tax. These posts have been made by professional post makers, do not try this type of posting on your own without extensive training, lovely assistants and a trusty clown horn.
     

  9. Default  
    #19
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Ravens Grin Inn, 411 carroll st.mount carroll ill.
    Posts
    12,783
    If Grandma's cell phone rings with the Manson Family ringtones , we never see her again!
    (She's probably just in an area that is a tower short, like Mount Carroll, illinois is)
     

  10. Default  
    #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Tyler, Texas, United States
    Posts
    2,614
    What song? Vampirella is a Grandma and keeps her cell phone in her bra of all places so if a call comes in a light show and music comes from her clevage.

    So is it Marilyn Manson's remake of "Sweet Dreams are made of These"?


    Another fabulous post from the U.S.Department of Wild Imaginings, now in spectaclar stereo, sponsored by the Adhesives and Sealants Council, suggesting ways to stick things together since the 1800s. Not fabulous in a gay way. Your results may vary. Illinois residents add 8% sales tax. These posts have been made by professional post makers, do not try this type of posting on your own without extensive training, lovely assistants and a trusty clown horn.
     

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